My Mom Has Stage 5 Alzheimer's, And Is Always Looking For Her Children. Would a Doll Be Helpful?

As with all questions related to Alzheimer's - especially at an advanced stage - what works for one patient may not work for another.

It's worth a try, though.

All of us - Alzheimer's patients included - have the basic human need to nurture. Sometimes the patient believes the doll is a real baby, and she may carry it around with her to make sure it's cared for. And this can often be beneficial.

But there are no guarantees. I can recall a woman at an adult day care center who was constantly agitated. She had been a nurturing person, volunteering at hospitals her entire life In order to calm her down, the staff decided to give her a doll. At first, the tactic worked.

However, after a few hours, she began to worry about the "baby" needing to be fed. She then became agitated about it. In order to calm her down, the staff took the doll and said they were babysitting it. Once the doll was gone, the woman began to calm down. A few months later, the staff gave her the doll again. And this time, she was fine.

So you can have different results at different times...with the same person!

Your mother needs reassurance, and validation. Often, when Alzheimer's patients ask about their children, they're actually seeing their children as children. So tell her that her children are safe, secure, and doing well. Also, you need to be constantly aware of the need to re-direct her attention elsewhere, if necessary.

If you're an Alzheimer's caregiver, you know it's a 24/7 job. And perhaps the most stressful, lonely job in the world. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we're Elder Law attorneys. For one thing, we've got one of the largest Alzheimer's/dementia resource centers in South Florida. For another, over the past 33 years, we've walked thousands of South Florida families through the Alzheimer's Journey. And we've helped them prepare in advance for it, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset protection plans, and assistance with the VA and Medicaid.

We can walk you through the journey, too. And we're just a phone call away.

What Kinds of Support Are Available For Someone With Alzheimer's?

Yes, fortunately, support is available for an Alzheimer's patient.

After your loved one is diagnosed, one of your first stops should be a website calledwww.alzhope.com. It's a loving community of families in similar situations. And it will reassure you that you're not alone...and will give you the chance to vent, to listen, and to post questions. They'll wrap their arms around you and welcome you like an old friend.

Your second stop on the support-trail may be the Alzheimer's Association, at www.alz.org. Here you'll find a list of the programs offered...including one for the patient. And you'll also find a link to your local association, and resources close to home.

You may want to check out your local association's early-stage support group. These groups are designed to meet the needs of the patient. Your loved one will have the opportunity to participate in group discussions with other newly-diagnosed patients, led by a skilled facilitator who'll address all the issues - medical, financial, emotional, and family - that need to be addressed.

Your loved one will laugh, cry, talk, and work on common problems with the other patients. These groups usually meet every month. And while your loved one is meeting with others in the same situation, so will you - family members have their own meeting in a separate area.

Of course, there are also avenues of individual support...such as counseling, clergy members, or home health agencies.

Two helpful contacts:

Alzheimer's Disease Education & Referral Center (ADEAR)

800-438-4380

www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers

National Institute on Aging/Alzheimer's Disease Information

800-222-2225

www.nia.nih.gov

And there's another organization that can help, as well - The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates.

For one thing, we have one of the largest Alzheimer's Resource Centers in South Florida. For a second, we're Elder Law attorneys. For a third, over the past 33 years, we've walked thousands of South Florida families through the Alzheimer's Journey. And for a fourth, we've also helped these families prepare in advance for a possible Alzheimer's/dementia journey, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset protection plans, and assistance with the VA or Medicaid.

We can walk your family through the Alzheimer's Journey. And we're just a phone call away.

My Loved One With Alzheimer's Isn't Sleeping At Night. What Can I Do?

Many people with Alzheimer's experience insomnia at some point...or at many points. Needless to say, if you're the caregiver, that makes a tough job -your job - that much tougher.

It's a serious issue. And if your loved one isn't getting enough sleep, the effects on his/her well-being (and our mood!) can be significant.

Here are a few tips...

• 
  

  Limit coffee and caffeine (soft drinks, too!) intake. And don't allow it at all in the evening.

• 
  

  Try to keep your loved one as active as possible during the day, so he'll be more tired at night.

• 
  

  Discourage naps during daytime hours.

• 
  

  Create a soothing atmosphere close to bedtime...soft music, candles, etc.

• 
  

  Schedule activities that are potentially upsetting to him during daytime hours.

• 
  

  Try to keep a consistent routine for bedtime...without being totally inflexible.

• 
  

  Ask your doctor about any medications that may be interfering with her sleep.

• 
  

  A light snack before bedtime (nothing sugary or heavy!) can have a calming effect. And if your loved one seems calmed by it, make it part of the nighttime routine.

• 
  

  Bathroom time is right before bedtime.

• 
  

  Your loved one is an adult - don't make bedtime unrealistically early.

• 
  

  Pick your battles, Part 1: If he falls asleep on the couch, let him stay there!

• 
  

  Pick your battles, Part 2: If she wants to go to sleep in her regular clothes, rather than sleeping clothes, let her.

• 
  

  Favorite blankets or pillows can have a calming effect.

• 
  

  Safety First! Put night-lights in the bedroom, bathroom, and hallways!

• 
  

  If sleeping remains a problem, you need to have a serious talk - probably in person - with the doctor.

If you're caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or dementia, you know that sleep is just one of many potential problem areas. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law. We've been helping South Florida families through the Elder Care Journey for 33 years. And we can help your family from beginning to end...with comprehensive estate plans, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset protection, and assistance with the VA or Medicaid.

We'll get you through. And we're just a phone call away.

How Can I Better Understand What My Loved One With Alzheimer's Is Going Through?

Of course, you'll never totally understand it, and you'll never totally be able to feel it...in large part because your loved one will never totally understand it, let alone be able to express her feelings about it.

There may be lonelier and sadder jobs in the world than being a caregiver to an Alzheimer's patient...but not many of them. And, unfortunately, the journey toward better understanding what they're going through, and what they're feeling, must be grounded in the realization that you'll never fully know.

The good thing about Alzheimer's, though - if thereis a good thing- is that resources are available to find out some of these answers. People are writing about it, people are talking about it, and people are studying it more than ever before.

You can learn a bit about what your loved one is feeling if you join a caregiver support group. (And you'll also benefit from the realization that there are many other people in the same predicament that you are...you're not alone!) Other good sources are your local Alzheimer's Association (alz.org), and your local Area Agency on Aging. One of the best sources of information is National Institute on Aging, an arm of The National Institutes of Health (alzheimers.org).

If we listed all the good websites with information on Alzheimer's, we'd need a book, not a blog.

And speaking of books, there are - literally - hundreds of good ones available. Ask your Alzheimer's Association for some good ones. Or just go on Amazon and explore titles about Alzheimer's. Believe me, there are enough to keep you busy for a long time!

And there's another good resource available, as well...a Board-Certified Elder Law attorney who can walk you through the Alzheimer's Journey.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we are Elder Law attorneys. And, over the past 33 years, we've waked thousands of South Florida families through the Alzheimer's Journey...with professionalism, with compassion, and, when necessary, with a soft shoulder. In addition, we can also help you with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset protection, and issues with Medicaid or the VA.

This is one journey you don't have to make alone. We're just a phone call away.