Is Your Elder Law Attorney REALLY An Elder Law Attorney?

No one knows elder law like an Elder Law attorney.

As Elder Law attorneys, we specialize in estate and longevity planning, Medicaid, special needs trusts, and VA benefits for people over 65. Our education is geared to that. Our training is geared to that. And our experience – in my case, 33 years – is geared to that.

Recently, while perusing a bar association list of “Elder Law” attorneys, I was surprised to see that many of them were, in actuality, general practitioners. I was a bit disturbed, because drafting simple wills and trusts does not really qualify an attorney as an Elder Law specialist.

Wills, in my opinion, are “death planning.” But today’s seniors need so much more. Powers of Attorney. Long-term care planning. Asset protection (even if a senior needs long-term care). Special Needs Trusts. Caregiver support. Living wills. Assistance with government agencies such as the VA or Medicaid or Social Security. And longevity – not only death – planning.

So…will the real Elder Law attorney please stand up?

A traditional estate plan is designed to do three things:

1. Minimize estate taxes

2. Avoid probate court

3. Distribute the deceased’s assets to his/her heirs

On the other hand, Elder Law is truly “longevity planning.” Elder Law attorneys help you plan for all the things you – or your spouse - might need while you’re still alive! Our job is to improve the lives of our clients…not just to figure out who-gets-what when someone passes away.

So how do you find a real Elder Law attorney? Ask these questions:

How many Medicaid applications does your firm do in a year?

How many veterans does your firm assist with the VA aid and attendance benefits each year?

How many Elder Law-oriented estate plans has your firm done this year?

In my 33 years of Elder Law practice, my office has helped thousands of South Floridians navigate the elder-care journey. We’ve done it with professionalism. With compassion. And, when necessary, with a soft shoulder.

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law – and only Elder Law. We know the ropes. And we’ll walk you through…every step of the way.

We’re just a phone call away.

Warning! Estate Planning Is Not A Do-It-Yourself Project!

“Easy-to-Use Online Estate Planning Program! Only $39.95!”

Yes, unfortunately, programs like this do exist. And if you’re the kind of person who’d perform a medical operation on yourself, you’d probably be interested.

Most of us, though, wouldn’t think of operating on ourselves. We’re not doctors. We haven’t spent twelve years in training. And we realize that we’d make mistakes that could cost us everything. So why, then, do people still think developing an effective, protective Estate Plan is as easy as finding an online “bargain?”

In reality, a do-it-yourself estate plan can be so “easy to use” that you eventually won’t need to do-it-yourself – because you won’t have an estate to plan for!

As a South Florida Elder Law attorney for 33 years, I’ve done more wills, trusts, long-term care planning, Medicaid and VA assistance, Powers of Attorney, and asset-protection plans than I can count. And I’ve also met a few poor souls who’ve tried the do-it-yourself route. Here’s the story of one of them.

He should have known better, because he’s an accountant. Trying to help his mother qualify for Medicaid, he transferred $500,000 to an irrevocable trust, and then began paying for her care during what he thought was the Medicaid waiting period. While filling out the Medicaid application, he checked “Yes” next to “Do you wish to apply for ALL Medicaid benefits to which you are entitled?”

Unfortunately for his mother, this accountant submitted the application at the wrong time. As a result, Medicaid counted the $500,000 transfer as a gift – and imposed a waiting period of 100 months. His mother’s assets were decimated.

You see, in elder law contracts, seemingly-simple words can easily be misinterpreted by people who aren’t Elder Law attorneys. And that’s why you need an Elder Law attorney – not an online program, not your brother-in-law, not even your accountant – to help a loved one apply for Medicaid!

If you try to play doctor, and “operate” on your estate plan yourself…you’re going to have a very sick patient. Just ask that accountant.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law – and only Elder Law. We’re the ones who can help your loved one apply for Medicaid (or Veteran’s Benefits)…without endangering their life savings.

When puttering around the house, do-it-yourself skills are handy. When trying to do estate planning, they can be deadly – to the estate!

We’re just a phone call away.

The Medicaid Crisis: I've Just Got To Get This One Off My Chest...Before I Explode!!

Ever feel like you're going to explode if you don't get something off your chest - NOW??

Well, that's how I feel as I'm writing this. And that's why I'm writing this.

I've been in the practice of Elder Law for 33 years. During that time, my office has crafted wills, trusts, Powers of Attorney, long-term care and assisted living plans, Medicaid and VA assistance plans, asset protection plans...basically, plans to protect my clients as they age. But just when you think you've heard it all...just when you think it's no longer possible to be surprised...it happens.

Someone will say to me, "I just heard about your team of Medicaid Crisis Lawyers. Is it true we didn't need to spend our life savings on nursing-home care?"

It used to make me cry when I heard that. Now, though, it sometimes makes me want to scream. Because...Yes, it's true. They didn't need to spend their life savings on nursing-home care!

How do I answer a question like that, when it's breaking my heart...and when I know my answer will break theirs?

"Yes, it's too late," I say, and then I mumble something about doing the best we can. Then I hang up...and hang my head. Because another senseless tragedy could have been avoided.

And I think to myself, "But why are they calling me now? Why didn't they call me before they spent their life savings?"


Had they done so, I could have spared them the pain. I could have shown them how to protect themselves, and to preserve their hard-earned assets. I could have shown them how to qualify for Medicaid...without having to "spend down" their money.

There are steps you can take, too! You don't have to become one of those sad should-have, would-have, could-have cases where the family is bled dry by years of nursing-home care for a loved one.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we're Elder Law attorneys...and our practice focuses solely on estate planning, wills, trusts, Powers of Attorney, Medicaid planning, VA assistance, long-term care planning, and preserving our clients' assets.

We can protect what you've taken a lifetime to build...so you won't be burdened until the day you die by "should-haves." And we're only a phone call away.

Is Your Will Or Trust Stale Like Old Bread

An old will or trust is sort of like stale bread. And just as useful.

And if you're planning to stick around a while - and if your circumstances might change while you stick around - it may be totally worthless!

For example, if you have a Power of Attorney for property (and it'd better be a new Power of Attorney as the Florida laws governing them just changed on October 1st!), it probably says that your loved one can act for you. But if you agent is applying for Medicaid assistance for you, they probably won't know the complicated qualification rules. And they mat not know either, that the usual Power of Attorney doesn't even allow him/her to make changes in your estate plan - potentially costing you every cent you've ever earned!

What's the answer? A POWERFUL Power of Attorney...one that won't leave your spouse/family destitute after you're gone. And a comprehensive Estate Plan that leaves no stone unturned.

What about Revocable Living Trusts, you say? Good question. The answer, however, is not quite as good. If you become disabled, the trust usually transforms itself into an irrevocable trust - which won't allow changes in your assets. But which might force your spouse to drain them all on your care until you qualify for Medicaid!

Most traditional estate planning documents are simple wills - and wills don't do you much good until you're dead. If you or your spouse end up in long-term care (and 70% of us will), and you don't have a POWERFUL Power of Attorney, your assets can't be changed to help pay for this care.

You may end up on Medicaid - which limits your personal assets to $2,000. And then the children to whom you were planning to leave money will be the ones supporting you!

You need estate planning for you life as well as your death. And you need planning that will protect your spouse and family from catastrophic long-term care costs.

We can craft a POWERFUL Power of Attorney for you...in accordance with the new laws just enacted. We can craft effective wills, trusts, long-term care plans, Medicaid or VA assistance, and asset-protection plans. In short, we can craft a comprehensive, air-tight Estate Plan that works for you.

We've been doing it for 33 years. And we've walked thousands of South Florida families through the Elder Law maze.

We're the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates. And we're just a phone call away.

Why Traditional Estate Planning Could Make You Wish You Were Dead!

To put it mildly...the world ain't what it used to be!

The times they are a' changin' so fast that it's hard to keep up.

One thing that hasn't changed much, though, is estate planning. Long-term care and Medicaid planning are just not included in most existing estate plans. And that's a shame. Because AARP statistics show that 75% of people over 65 will need long-term care or Medicaid.

Unfortunately, many attorneys - perhaps because their clients press them for a "quick, simple" plan - still don't include these items in the plans they devise. As a result, their clients aren't thoroughly prepared for all of life's eventualities as they age. And when these clients realize it, the shock may be devastating - to their health as well as to their estates.

Most of us don't like to think about our eventual demise, so we want to keep the visit with the attorney brief. As a result, the document we receive is often pretty much the same one every other client receives, with some minor modifications.

But...IT'S YOUR LIFE! You don't want someone else's plan with slight modifications! You want your own plan. And you want a plan that can change as your personal and family circumstances change!

In an ironic twist, we're living longer...but, as a result, spending more time in nursing homes and long-term care facilities than any previous generation. But - if you're like most people - your estate planning documents weren't drawn up any differently than those of the earlier generations.

And if that's the case, you - and your estate - are in some serious trouble! Are you willing to lose your life savings...and your family's inheritance?

We can help. At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been practicing Elder Law for 33 years. We've helped thousands of South Florida families come up with secure, air-tight estate plans that protect their legal rights and protect their assets. And we're on a one-stop shop. If it has to do with estate planning, we can do it. Wills. Trusts. Powers of Attorney. Long-term care planning. Medicaid or VA assistance. Asset preservation. Caregiver support. And much more.

We know the ropes. And we're just a phone call away.

Help! How Can I Get A Break? Caregivers Who Never Get A Break Won't Be Able To Give Much Care

If you're the primary caregiver for a senior family member, you know - it's a physically, emotionally, and soul-draining experience.

In addition, it's also a thankless task. The person for whom you're caring may not even know you're caring for him. And other family members - who may consider themselves lucky because they're not the caregiver - may not even want to talk about it, let alone thank you.

It's also a 24/7 task, of course - you can't clock in and out. But if you don't get a break here or there, your loved one may not be the only family member who'll need care.

Family members should be your first resource. You may be uncomfortable in asking (although perhaps not quite as uncomfortable as they are in being asked!). But if you don't ask, you'll never know.

And there are other options...

Private Duty Home Care - This might entail bathing, sitting, taking your loved one to appointments, shopping, meals, and other everyday necessities. Ask you local Alzheimer's Association, Area Agency on Aging, or case-management/referral service for recommendations on local providers.

Adult Day Services - These centers provide socialization, stimulation, and supervision. If your loved one has Alzheimer's, make sure the center has experience with such patients!

Overnight Care - You can often get a one - or two-night respite by utilizing assisted living or nursing homes; many offer short-term stays.

Hire a Caregiver - Your local Alzheimer's Association of Area Agency on Aging can probably provide some references. There's no central agency, though, that's responsible for independent caregivers. So you've got to do your homework. Check references. Do a background check. And bring any candidates to your home, so you can see how they interact with your loved one.

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we can help you navigate the Elder Care Road...along with items such as estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, the VA, Medicaid, and protecting assets. We've been practicing Elder Law for 33 years...and we've helped thousands of South Florida families.

Caregivers need a support system, too. And we can be yours.

We're just a phone call away.

Are You In The "Sandwich Generation?"

If so, you’re probably feeling like the peanut butter in the PBJ sandwich right now – squeezed from all sides. Or you may be feeling, as Ringo Starr sang, “It Ain’t Easy.”

The “Sandwich Generation,” of course, is the name for people “sandwiched” into a very tough spot – parents raising their own children (and probably holding jobs) while also caring for a parent. Throw in the economic uncertainty, and the fact that many government and private resources are short on funding, and you’re probably really feeling the squeeze. Not only financially, but also on your personal life, your work life, and your “me” time.

In addition to the stressors mentioned above, there can be another big one – family disharmony. The grandparent can become snappy with the children. The children may feel the grandparent is requiring too much attention from their parents. And the parents may feel stretched as far as they can go. Then, of course, there’s the guilt many “Sandwich Generation” members feel at not being available for their spouses.

The “Sandwich Generation” parent can often feel very alone, and fighting a losing battle to keep it all together. And a devastating sense of fatigue, both physical and emotional.

A caregivers’ support group can share ways to cope. There are specific support groups for children of Alzheimer’s patients, for example. And there are numerous publications that can give you some clearer perspective, from the American Health Assistance Foundation (1-800-437-2423; www.ahaf.org), and the national Alzheimer’s Association (1-800-272-3900, 24 hours a day; www.alz.org).

If you’re a member of the “Sandwich Generation,” YOU DON’T HAVE TO SUFFER IN SILENCE!

And you don’t have to suffer alone. The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates is an Elder Law practice…and we’ve been helping South Florida families deal with situations like this for 33 years. We have the resources – physical, legal, and emotional – to get you through times like these. And we have the resources to fight for your rights (and those of your loved one), with estate planning documents such as wills, trusts, and powers of attorney, as assistance with the VA or Medicaid, and protecting your assets.

We’ll fight for what’s yours. And we’re just a phone call away!

How To Find A Good In-Home Caregiver

Who are we going to leave in charge of our loved one? And how do we find someone we can trust?

It can seem like an incredible responsibility. But help is available.

If you're talking about homemakers, sitters, or aides, there are a number of agencies in your community that can get you started on the right track, among them your Area Agency on Aging, the Department on Aging, Social and Rehabilitation Services, or your local Alzheimer's Association. If you're talking about trained nurses, you'll have to go through a home-care agency. Your loved one's doctor should be involved in setting up these services, and in recommending an agency.

There's a third option, as well. Certified Nurse Aides are trained to assist with dressing, bathing, feeding, and medications. Most have experience in working with Alzheimer's/dementia patients. And you should also check for CPR certification.

Or, you can hire someone on your own. Your local Alzheimer's Association will have a list of individual caregivers. While they can't make recommendations, they can tell you the feedback they've received. And caregiver support groups can provide recommendations.

If you go the do-it-yourself route, you've got to treat this as an employer-employee relationship - nothing less. You need to have people fill out an application. You need to see identification such as a drivers' license, Social Security card, or nurse/aide certification, and a resume. And - like any employer - you need references!

These will be the most important interviews you've ever conducted. They should be done in your home, with your loved one present. This way, you can pick up on his/her level of comfort with the person - as well as your own.

Even after the hire, always keep a file with identification, certificates, and background-check results. Familiarize your new employee with your loved one - her likes, dislikes, behavior patterns, and habits. And make sure you don't pay for services you don't need. For instance, if all you need is someone to cook and clean, a homemaker will cost less than a nurse aide.

Lastly, a word of caution: In some states, contracting with someone to provide care for your loved one can cause eligibility issues with Medicaid. The only one who can tell you for sure is an experienced Elder Law attorney!

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been practicing Elder Law for 33 years. And we've helped thousands of South Florida families find in-home care for their loved ones. In addition, we've also helped them draft air-tight wills, trusts, powers of attorney, and other estate planning documents, and assisted with the VA or Medicaid, and protection of assets.

We know the ropes. And we're just a phone call away!

How To Handle It When Your Loved One Gives Up

It's the question we're all afraid to ask ourselves. How do we handle it when our loved one is ready to call it quits?

Nobody wants to think about it, of course. But many of us - perhaps most of us - will have to face it.

It could be from the effects of Alzheimer's. It could be from a disease of the body. But, sooner or later, many seniors decide it's not worth the fight anymore...the quality of life they're experiencing is just not worth trying to hang around longer. Some may express it verbally. Others may not express it, because they don't want to hurt their family; but they may be feeling it.

The hardest part, for any family, is to know when to accept it. To know when it's time to say goodbye, and let our loved one complete their life's journey.

It's their life. Their decision (whether conscious or unconscious). And their right.

For people who have suffered, and who have probably depended on others for so long, this is one last chance to take control of their own destiny.

I've seen many a dying patient linger because their family hadn't yet accepted their right to die. And I've seen many others pass on peacefully after receiving "permission" - and acceptance - from their families. Remember, the family members suffer afterward. But their loved one is out of pain.

If your loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer's, you'll need a support system from that moment on - for the care-giver as well as the patient.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been working with South Florida families dealing with Alzheimer's and dementia for 33 years. We're Elder Law attorney's and we know every step of the Alzheimer's journey. And we have one of South Florida's largest resource libraries on Alzheimer's and dementia.

We can help even before disease hits, though - with estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, issues with the VA or Medicaid, asset protection, and in guaranteeing your family's legal rights.

And we're just a phone call away.

Does Your Loved One Think The Characters On TV Are Real?

A lot of Alzheimer's patients do.

I recently met a woman whose mother lives in a nursing home, has Alzheimer's...and thinks the people on the tube are real. Once, she refused to play bingo until she invited the newscaster to play, too. And she apparently thinks the music shows are live concerts.

"Should I eliminate her TV-watching altogether?" the woman asked me.

The answer, I told her, is no - with one condition. If the people on TV seem threatening to her, or if the situations are frightening, then it's a good idea to limit her TV-watching...and to be aware of what she's watching. It could be causing her to become agitated.

However, assuming the characters or the shows are not frightening or distressing, who, really, is being hurt? If TV provides entertainment for her, and keeps her occupied, there's no real problem. And if she feels the people on TV are her friends...again, there's nothing really harmful in that.

If your loved one thinks the people on TV are real, and he/she is in a nursing home, talk to the staff. If necessary, let them know you'd like to limit her TV. She'll inevitably see other residents watching TV. But she can be directed to another activity, such as bingo or story-telling.

If you find it necessary to remove her TV, make sure the staff will take her out to one of the facility's TV's, to let her watch her favorite (happy!) programs. In addition, you could buy her a VCR and some appropriate movies that she can watch herself.

"Don't make it a big problem if it isn't one," I said to the woman. "You'll know if it's becoming a  problem."

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've worked with thousands of South Florida families dealing with Alzheimer's and dementia. And there's nothing we haven't seen.

We practice Elder Law...and only Elder Law. We can walk you through the Alzheimer's Journey...every step of the way. We can help ensure your loved one is happy, in a secure environment, and that her (and your!) legal rights are respected. And we can help you navigate the bureaucratic maze involved in dealing with nursing homes and Alzheimer's.

We're only a phone call away.

Does Your Loved One Have Alzheimer's AND Cancer?

The diagnosis of either one is enough to tear a family apart...and tear a care-giver apart. Yet, horrible as it is, there are some families dealing with both...a senior whose body is being ravaged by cancer while his mind is being ravaged by Alzheimer's.

When that happens, you're not only dealing, of course, with someone whose life may be in danger...but who also has no clue about it.

Assuming your loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer's first, and then cancer, the first step is elementary. Have a meeting - a sit down meeting! - with the doctor. Bring the family; this is a time when everyone should be involved. Ask the doctor specific questions about the nature of the cancer, the stage, treatment options, and the prognosis. And don't let her out of the room until your questions are answered! (One trick I've used is to have a family member or two block the door. Yes, doctors are very busy people. But if you let the doctor out of the room without getting answers in a sit-down meeting, good luck trying to pin her down when she's flying around the hospital!)

Surgery or aggressive treatment is less likely for a patient who also has Alzheimer's. Often, it's just not worth the risk, particularly if the patient can't understand her own situation, or assist in her own recovery. And if surgery is done, afterwards the patient will be even more confused than usual.

If the diagnosis is not a good one, you may want to meet with the folks at your local hospice. The goal of hospice is to keep a terminal patient at home, in familiar surroundings and with familiar faces. They can provide all sorts of services to the patient...and all sorts of support to the family.

If your family is in this situation, "support" is a very important word. The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates practices Elder Law...and we've been providing support for South Florida families with aging loved ones for 33 years. Not only with regard to Alzheimer's or life-threatening diseases, but also with estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term-care planning, issues with the VA or Medicaid, and protecting their assets.

If your family needs this support, we can provide it. At the touch of a phone button.

Is It "Alzheimer's Agitation?" Or Agitation From Pain?

If your loved one has Alzheimer's or dementia, it's often hard to tell. And if they're far enough along in the disease, they won't be able to tell you. So you've got to be on the lookout for sudden bursts of agitation, seemingly without reason. The reason may be pain.

You may have to determine whether your loved one is in the "cycle of pain" - pain, anxiety, fatigue, depression...pain, anxiety, fatigue, depression, etc.

If your senior loved one has a history of infection, arthritis, joint or muscle problems, inflammation, or headaches, you should be monitoring their behavior for signs of sudden change. It could be something that requires treatment, for example, a urinary tract infection or a bad headache.

A run-of-the-mill sore - on the foot, for example - can be very painful for seniors. So can a flare-up of arthritis. If these things happened to you, or I, we'd be able to explain them to our family, and, if necessary, to our doctor. But Alzheimer's/dementia patients often can't. So you have to be aware of other things, such as facial expressions or body language. You don't need to be a psychologist or doctor to look at a senior's face and see pain or discomfort.

Medical problems, however, are not always the cause of agitation in Alzheimer's or dementia patients. Sometimes, unfortunately, it's the medicines they take to combat these problems. Who among us - healthy or not - has not experienced adverse reactions from certain medications? I know of a couple that sometimes make me feel as if I'm crawling out of my skin. But I can address those issues with my husband, or my doctor. Seniors suffering from Alzheimer's or dementia often can't.

The Alzheimer's/dementia journey is a long, hard one...and the patient's not the only victim. Family members are victims, as well. But support is available.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been working with South Florida families affected by Alzheimer's or dementia for the past 33 years. We've helped thousands of them on the Alzheimer's/dementia journey. With professionalism. With a steadfast commitment to protect their assets, preserve their rights, and get them the help they need. And, when necessary, with a soft shoulder.

You don't have to make this journey alone! We're just a phone call away.

Do's And Don'ts: Communicating With Someone Who Has Alzheimer's Or Dementia

Communication, of course, is the most important part of any human interaction. But when you're trying to communicate with someone who has dementia or Alzheimer's, it can be a frustrating process - for both of you. But especially for the person with dementia or Alzheimer's, because they may be unable to effectively express themselves. The result can be extreme agitation on their part...or even lashing out.

Here are some "do's" to increase communication, and decrease agitation...

• People with dementia are easily startled. So approach from the front.
• Always maintain eye contact.
• Keep your voice soft, and pleasant.
• Smile!
• Speak slowly and calmly.
• Be prepared to identify yourself.
• Short, simple sentences.
• One question at a time. Don't overwhelm them.
• Try to eliminate background noise, if possible.
• If you're asking a question, wait patiently for the answer.
• If he or she can't find the word...help them out by finishing the thought.
• Be prepared to repeat. Repeat. And repeat.
• Nothing helps a person with dementia or Alzheimer's as much as praise. Don't hold back with the "Good job!" or "Thank you!"
• Give them a choice whenever possible. It's empowering. And it's calming.
• Their feelings are important to them. Acknowledge what they're feeling.
• Soft touches on the shoulder or knee can get a good response.
• Hugs can get a great response!
• Laugh. Together.

And here are a few "don'ts"...

• Don't argue. Ever.
• If you're getting angry or frustrated...STOP! You can try again later.
• Don't be sarcastic. And don't - ever - talk down to the Alzheimer's or dementia patient.
• Don't correct them. As far as you're concerned...they're never wrong.
• Never demand. Request.
• Speak slowly. Hurrying will only increase their frustration...and yours.
• Always remember: It's not personal.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, working with families dealing with Alzheimer's or dementia is one of our chief practice areas. In fact, we have one of the most comprehensive Alzheimer's/dementia libraries in South Florida. And over the past 33 years, we've walked thousands of families through this journey. Listening to their questions. Advising them on their rights. And providing a shoulder when necessary.

If your family's dealing with Alzheimer's or dementia - or if you need help with estate planning, wills, trusts, protecting assets, powers of attorney, long-term-care planning, or dealing with the VA or Medicaid - we're just a phone call away.

And we'll always be there for you.

Do You Have A Family Member with Alzheimer's... AND Down's Syndrome?

After all, people with Down's Syndrome get old, too. Like everyone else, they're living longer, and, thus, getting Alzheimer's.

Many high-functioning Down's Syndrome patients have lived productive lives, and have been active participants in family life. With Alzheimer's, however, they'll start to lose their memory, and eventually, the ability to perform even the simplest of tasks.

As with any other Alzheimer's patient, the changes will make family members feel they're losing the person they've known and loved all these years. It's a long, drawn-out, traumatic experience - for both the patient and the family. And it's a heart-breaking one.

I recently heard about a man whose brother has Down's Syndrome, and now, Alzheimer's. This man is having trouble understanding - and dealing with - the changes his brother's going through. His brother still looks the same...so he's surprised when his brother doesn't act the same.

In fact, his brother is acting the same...the same as every other Alzheimer's patient.

How do you treat an Alzheimer's patient who also has Down's Syndrome (or any other condition)? The same way you treat any Alzheimer's patient. With dignity. With respect. And with the willingness to allow them to participate in household life at whatever level they can...even if that may mean more work for you.

Lower your expectations. Applaud the effort. Accept him as he is...or else you'll put too much pressure on him. And let him experience the feeling of success, even if it's only in little ways.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been working with South Florida Alzheimer's patients and their families for 33 years. And we've helped thousands of families who just needed estate planning, wills, trusts, preserving assets, durable powers of attorney, Medicaid or VA assistance, long-term-care planning, or assistance in arranging for assisted-living or nursing home facilities. If it has to do with Elder Care or Elder Law, we've done it - many, many times!

The Elder Care journey can be a grueling one for a family - especially if it involves Alzheimer's. We'll be there for you every step of the way. With professionalism. With concern. And with a single-minded determination to safeguard your family's legal rights and privileges.

We're just a phone call away.

The Caregiver's Guilt Syndrome

Guilt is a thief that comes in the night and steals. Steals our personality. Steals our self-respect. And steals our sense of well-being.

If we're caring for an aging loved one, guilt can, if we let it, steal something even more important. It can steal our lives! It can suck up every last ounce of the person we are...until we hardly recognize ourselves anymore.

Often, though, we're the ones setting ourselves up for guilt. And, by so doing, we do ourselves - as well as the senior for whom we're caring - a great disservice.

The dictionary describes guilt as "being responsible for the commission of an offense; remorseful awareness of having done something wrong; or self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing." Obviously the first two definitions don't pertain to caregivers. But the third definition...that's where many of us run into trouble.

The curse of caring for an aging loved one is that we can't be everywhere and do everything for them. And, too often, we end up blaming ourselves for this. Many of us devote years to caring for a loved one, making great sacrifices in our personal and professional lives. Yet, we often blame ourselves for not doing more. Think about it. How often have we heard a friend or family-member lament that they wished they had been able to do more?

Most caregivers, however, are doing the very best they can...and, in the process, often neglecting to take care of themselves.


Sometimes, it's hard to keep negative thoughts from intruding. But you can control your reaction to them. By acknowledging the difficulty of what you're doing. And by giving yourself credit for doing it!

You're doing the best you can. And you don't deserve the guilt!

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Care Law. And we've been helping South Florida caregivers deal with guilt for 33 years. We have the expertise to help you deal with these feelings...and to help you take care of yourself, as well as your loved one.

Try turning the word "guilt" into something positive. Give Undeserved Illusions Little Thought!

It's certainly a difficult tightrope to walk. But we'll be holding the net underneath you...every step of the way!

The Dementia/Alzheimer's Connection

Ever notice that, as we age, we hear those two words - "dementia" and "Alzheimer's" - more and more?

"Did you hear? Betty's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's!"
"If you ask me, Dave's got a mild form of dementia."

The fact is - and there's no escaping this - the older we get, the more we're going to hear it. And there's no escaping this, either: We may well have to hear it about one of our own family members. 

Since the disease we now call Alzheimer's was first named, it's often seemed somewhat interchangeable with "dementia". And, to some extent, they're branches of the same tree. But they are still, nonetheless, different branches.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines dementia as "deterioration of intellectual faculties, such as memory, concentration, and judgment, resulting from an organic disease or a disorder of the brain."

The leading cause of dementia? It's Alzheimer's disease. But that doesn't mean that everyone with dementia also has Alzheimer's; there are a number of "members" within the dementia family. Many types of dementia, in fact, can actually be reversed, such as those caused by some diseases, such as Parkinson's, stroke, AIDS, or MS, as well as conditions like depression, drug or alcohol problems, nutritional deficiencies, syphilis, and certain metabolic conditions. As we all know, however, the same, tragically, can't be said of Alzheimer's; it can't - yet! - be reversed.

But that doesn't mean Alzheimer's can't often be managed, at least somewhat successfully. And a good Elder Law attorney will have a whole arsenal of weapons with which to wage the good fight - not only for the patient, but also for the caregivers.

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been working with families dealing with Alzheimer's or dementia for 33 years. In fact, it's one of our chief areas of practice. And we've helped thousands of South Florida families through this process. With professionalism. With understanding. And with a fierce determination to ensure their legal rights.

We even have our own resource library filled with information on dementia and Alzheimer's.

If you have a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's, give us a call. We'll get you through it.

How The Elder Care Umbrella Can Protect YOU!

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we get asked every day about estate planning, long-term-care planning, veteran's benefits, Medicaid (and the difference between Medicaid and Medicare!), protecting assets, protecting your home, wills, trusts, powers of attorney...the list is endless. So we've decided to bring the answers to you! This is the first of our "60 Blogs in 60 Days!"

So - to get back to our title - How can the Elder Care Umbrella protect you? (And what the heck is an "Elder Care Umbrella," anyway?)

The Elder Care Law Umbrella focuses on protecting the legal needs (and rights!) of seniors - and their families, as well. An effective umbrella has a number of different components - because it has to be comprehensive enough to protect you against any eventuality. To thoroughly protect you, it should address these eventualities - before they become realities.

• Estate Planning & Wills
• Minimizing Estate Taxes
• Wealth & Legacy Preservation/Asset Preservation/Asset Protection Planning
• Long Term Care/Life Care Planning
• Medicaid or Veteran's Benefits to which you may be entitled
• Assisted Living and Nursing Home Care Placement & Assistance
• Possible incapacity: Alzheimer's Disease/Dementia Planning. And -very important - caregivers' support
• Durable Power of Attorney and Health Care Surrogate
• Probate, Trusts, Special Needs Trusts (for example, for handicapped children)
• Hospice
• Estate Planning for Unmarried Partners and Same-Sex Couples/LGBT
• Pre-Crisis Planning and Crisis Planning

In our practice, we sometimes come across people who haven't effectively protected themselves. And they've paid dearly...in some cases, with their life savings and their homes.

Two of every five Americans over 65 will enter a Nursing Home. In 7 out of 10 couples, at least one spouse will need Long Term Care. And nearly 80% of us, believe it or not, now live in "non traditional families" (second marriages, same-sex couples, etc.), which calls for special planning and protecting.

We've been practicing Elder Law - and providing our South Florida clients with effective Elder Law Umbrellas - for 33 years. We know every inch of the "Elder Care Journey." We'll show you the way. And we'll fight for what's yours. With professionalism, with concern, and with understanding.

We're only a phone call away!

The Need for Proper Estate and Long-Term Care Planning....Again!