I Recently Moved My Dad Far From Home, To Live With Us. How Can I Help Him Adapt?

Changes in routine can be very difficult for people with dementia or Alzheimer’s. And a forced move certainly qualifies as a change in routine. So you have to allow your father time.

 

Allow him to express his feelings – and listen to him. He has concerns which need to be addressed. He has feelings that need to be validated. He needs you to recognize that he’s dealing with true grief…and that he’s losing more of himself every day.

Trying to reason with him may be fruitless, and may cause him more agitation. But when he asks why, you might respond – calmly – “Dad, I know this has been hard for you. But I love you, and I wanted you close to me.”

Some other things you can try:

• Give him a photo album to look at, with photos of family and friends, vacations, and other pleasant memories. This often has a calming effect.
• Allow him to bring any personal items into his room.
• Introduce him to your neighbors and friends.
• If he can still write, give him a journal, and encourage him to express his feelings in it.
• He might benefit from a support group. Contact your local Alzheimer’s Association.
• If nothing else works, give him the opportunity to speak with clergy or a professional counselor.

Your Dad will need plenty of attention, reassurance, and validation. Keep telling him that you love him, you love having him with you, and you’ll always look out for him. Tell him how well he’s doing. And include him in family decisions when possible.

If you’re caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s or dementia, you’ve got a long and rocky road ahead of you. But we can help you navigate it.

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law – and only Elder Law. Over the past 33 years, we’ve walked thousands of South Florida families through the Dementia Journey. And we’ve helped them prepare for this journey, as well…with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset- protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid or the VA.

We know every step of the Dementia Journey. And we’ll get you through it. We’re just a phone call away.

What Kinds of Support Are Available For Someone With Alzheimer's?

Yes, fortunately, support is available for an Alzheimer's patient.

After your loved one is diagnosed, one of your first stops should be a website calledwww.alzhope.com. It's a loving community of families in similar situations. And it will reassure you that you're not alone...and will give you the chance to vent, to listen, and to post questions. They'll wrap their arms around you and welcome you like an old friend.

Your second stop on the support-trail may be the Alzheimer's Association, at www.alz.org. Here you'll find a list of the programs offered...including one for the patient. And you'll also find a link to your local association, and resources close to home.

You may want to check out your local association's early-stage support group. These groups are designed to meet the needs of the patient. Your loved one will have the opportunity to participate in group discussions with other newly-diagnosed patients, led by a skilled facilitator who'll address all the issues - medical, financial, emotional, and family - that need to be addressed.

Your loved one will laugh, cry, talk, and work on common problems with the other patients. These groups usually meet every month. And while your loved one is meeting with others in the same situation, so will you - family members have their own meeting in a separate area.

Of course, there are also avenues of individual support...such as counseling, clergy members, or home health agencies.

Two helpful contacts:

Alzheimer's Disease Education & Referral Center (ADEAR)

800-438-4380

www.nia.nih.gov/alzheimers

National Institute on Aging/Alzheimer's Disease Information

800-222-2225

www.nia.nih.gov

And there's another organization that can help, as well - The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates.

For one thing, we have one of the largest Alzheimer's Resource Centers in South Florida. For a second, we're Elder Law attorneys. For a third, over the past 33 years, we've walked thousands of South Florida families through the Alzheimer's Journey. And for a fourth, we've also helped these families prepare in advance for a possible Alzheimer's/dementia journey, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset protection plans, and assistance with the VA or Medicaid.

We can walk your family through the Alzheimer's Journey. And we're just a phone call away.

My Loved One With Alzheimer's Isn't Sleeping At Night. What Can I Do?

Many people with Alzheimer's experience insomnia at some point...or at many points. Needless to say, if you're the caregiver, that makes a tough job -your job - that much tougher.

It's a serious issue. And if your loved one isn't getting enough sleep, the effects on his/her well-being (and our mood!) can be significant.

Here are a few tips...

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  Limit coffee and caffeine (soft drinks, too!) intake. And don't allow it at all in the evening.

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  Try to keep your loved one as active as possible during the day, so he'll be more tired at night.

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  Discourage naps during daytime hours.

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  Create a soothing atmosphere close to bedtime...soft music, candles, etc.

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  Schedule activities that are potentially upsetting to him during daytime hours.

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  Try to keep a consistent routine for bedtime...without being totally inflexible.

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  Ask your doctor about any medications that may be interfering with her sleep.

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  A light snack before bedtime (nothing sugary or heavy!) can have a calming effect. And if your loved one seems calmed by it, make it part of the nighttime routine.

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  Bathroom time is right before bedtime.

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  Your loved one is an adult - don't make bedtime unrealistically early.

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  Pick your battles, Part 1: If he falls asleep on the couch, let him stay there!

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  Pick your battles, Part 2: If she wants to go to sleep in her regular clothes, rather than sleeping clothes, let her.

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  Favorite blankets or pillows can have a calming effect.

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  Safety First! Put night-lights in the bedroom, bathroom, and hallways!

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  If sleeping remains a problem, you need to have a serious talk - probably in person - with the doctor.

If you're caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or dementia, you know that sleep is just one of many potential problem areas. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law. We've been helping South Florida families through the Elder Care Journey for 33 years. And we can help your family from beginning to end...with comprehensive estate plans, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset protection, and assistance with the VA or Medicaid.

We'll get you through. And we're just a phone call away.

It's a Dog's World... Especially for Seniors - Part 1

Hi! I'm Emily, the official "Office Greeter" at The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates. (Although, truth be told, I much prefer the title of "Goodwill Ambassador.")

I carry out my greeting duties with dedication and a warm wag (and a full-fledged lick if you bring me a treat!). Monday was "Bring Your Dog to Work Day." So it's a perfect time to talk about a serious matter...the role a dog can play in a senior's life.

If a dog is man's best friend...then we're blood-brothers to seniors. According to my Mom, Alice Reiter Feld, studies show that we can bring a sense of happiness and well-being to seniors. 

Unfortunately, millions of my healthy friends are put to death every year because they haven't found homes. But millions of seniors would love the companionship and unconditional love that we can give them.

The Pets For the Elderly Foundation is doing something about it.

Pets For the Elderly pays a portion of the fee when someone 60 or older adopts one of my canine brothers or sisters. They now have 52 participating shelters across America...including, happily, the Humane Society of Broward County (www.humanebroward.com). 

How can one of my furry friends help you?

* A loving companion can help a senior feel less isolated...especially if they live alone.

* Just as a dog benefits from his/her daily walks...so does a senior.

* Seniors who own dogs have a sense of purpose, and of feeling needed. (After all, we can't carry our own pooper-scoopers!).

* Owning a dog, according to researchers, lowers blood pressure and cholesterol levels, and lessens incidences of depression. 

So give it some thought. 

My Mom has been helping South Floridians plan for senior life for 34 years, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care plans, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA. She can help you, too.

So stop by our office. And if you happen to slip me a doggie-goodie when I perform my greeting duties...well, what Mom doesn't know won't hurt her!

The Only Constant In Life... Is Change

I wish I could have been the one who said it. Alas, I was beaten by about 2,600 years...by a Greek professor named Heraclitus. But, after moving my office from Tamarac to Coral Springs (1829 N. University Drive), I've been doing a lot of thinking about change. 

Think moving your home is traumatic? Try moving 34 years' worth of files, along with the usual desks, sofas, chairs, computers, copiers, printers, and assorted other office equipment.

It was a bit emotional for me. After all, we'd been in Tamarac for 25 years! During the official moving day on Friday - and during the 16-hour days organizing the new office over the weekend - I occasionally thought about just how right Heraclitus was.

We consider our move a positive change. Nonetheless, other than the deaths of both my parents over the past eight months, it was the most stressful thing I've done in many years. But, even though the move is now in my rear-view mirror, I'm still thinking about change. 

After all, many of my clients are dealing with change...often, change that isn't good. Many are dealing with illness. Or concerns over whether they'll outlive their money. Or uncomfortable family situations due to change. And many are simply dealing with the fear of change.

But we have to learn - all of us - to deal with change. And we have to learn, also, to move on and accept it. Just ask Heraclitus.

I take great pride - and personal satisfaction - in the fact that we've been helping families deal with change for 34 years. And in the fact that we've helped them prepare financially for the changes that come with aging.

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've helped thousands of South Florida families prepare for - and navigate - change. We've helped them with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA...and with answers to their questions. 

We can help your family navigate change, too. And we're just a phone call away.

Vet's Benefit Formulas May Be Changing. And Vets Are Confused!

As I mentioned in my last blog, my Dad was a World War II veteran. He mostly kept his memories to himself. But, on the rare occasions he opened up, he conveyed a sense of trauma and horror that remains with me to this day.

So it burns me up when our veterans - who should be honored for their service - are made to suffer because of the VA's incredibly-complex regulations, and their slowness in fulfilling claims. Now, on top of everything else, they may be changing the benefits formula. And it's not to the vets' advantage.
Our government has come up with a formula to change the Cost-of-Living Adjustments (read: Lower!) for those receiving Federal benefits. The new formula would save the government money. But it would hurt veterans.

How? Well, AARP has calculated, for example, that a 30-year-old Iraq or Afghanistan vet without children, with a 100% disability, would lose about $100,000 by the age of 75. In addition, over a decade, 23 million veterans would lose a total of $17 billion in compensation!

We all need a budget deal from Congress. But not one that takes bites out of the money due our veterans!

Too many of our veterans are nursing grievous physical or emotional injuries as a result of their service. And, in my opinion, where these folks are concerned, there should be a "No-Cut" policy!
My Dad passed away recently. But I'll continue to honor his memory - and those of all who've served our country - by fighting for the rights of veterans and their families.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we're Elder Law attorneys. We've been working with South Florida veterans and their families for 34 years. And we've walked many a family through the frightening maze of VA regulations.In addition,we've walked them through the Elder Journey...with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid. 

In fact, we're sponsoring a very important seminar on veterans' benefits on March 21. If you're a vet, you should be there.

And, remember - Whether you have questions about veterans' benefits or any aspect of estate planning and financial security, we're just a phone call away.

Caregiving: The Toughest Job on Earth?

In many states, the number of people 60 and over is expected to double in the coming years. Not only that, those 60-plus-ers will be living longer, too. This means the number of family caregivers they’ll need will double.

I tell my clients that, if they know of a tougher, more demanding, more emotionally-draining – and more thankless – job than being a caregiver, I’d like to hear about it.

As they reach their mid-70’s, nearly half the population will experience physical problems that may result in limited mobility, or limited ability to care for themselves. And they’re going to need help.

In most cases – up to 80% - this help comes from family members, directly or indirectly (paying for it). And it can include anything from assistance with housekeeping, finances, meals, and bathing to dressing, shopping, and transportation.

Caregiving can end up leaving the caregiver a physical and emotional wreck, as well. And it can result in depression, anxiety, loneliness, and illness.

That’s why it’s important for family members to work as a team, and to develop a plan to help out the main caregiver. Without an occasional break, the caregiver herself is in danger of breaking. And family relationships are in danger of unraveling.

To avoid these problems, I always encourage family members to develop a long-term strategy and a list of tasks divided into time, money, and labor categories, so that everyone shares the caregiving responsibility. I also encourage regular family meetings, (by phone if necessary), to discuss their loved one’s condition, or to renegotiate caregiving responsibilities as needed.

If not done right, caregiving can tear a family apart. It’s a tricky minefield. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law – and only Elder Law. And over the past 34 years, we’ve walked thousands of South Florida families through the caregiving process. And we’ve helped prepare them for the Elder Journey, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid or the VA.

We can answer your caregiving questions. And we can walk your family through the Elder Journey.

We’re just a phone call away.

Redefining Aging: Who Says You Have to Stop Being Active?

Watching NBC News the other day, I saw something fascinating. In a Senior Track meet overseas, two men, one from Finland and one from Belgium, were lined up at the starting line in a 100-meter race. The Finnish man was 95, and the Belgian 94.

The Finnish man took off like a shot. But, slowly and steadily, the Belgian man kept catching up. He just nipped the Finn at the finish line (“Finnish” line?).

This proved something I’ve been telling my clients for a while: Even though your body may be aging…that doesn’t mean you have to stop using it!

Several years ago, a 90-year-old ran in the Los Angeles Marathon, and a 101-year-old ran in the London Marathon. In the New York Marathon a few years ago, the toughest competition was said to have been in the 80-90-year-old women’s group. And, just two years ago, Charlie Futrell, 90, became what is believed to be the oldest person to finish a USA Triathlon (running, swimming, biking!) when he crossed the finish line in 2 hours, 18 minutes, 38 seconds during a Central Florida event!

What’s going on here ??? Well, many seniors have decided they’re not going gently into old age. In so doing, they’re redefining the process of aging. They’re showing us that age doesn’t necessarily have to be a barrier to remaining active. And they’re proving that getting old doesn’t mean acting old!

Redefining your own aging process can be tough. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we’re Elder Law attorneys. We’ve been helping South Florida seniors and their families redefine their aging processes for 34 years. And we’ve been helping them prepare for it, too, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care plans, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We can help you redefine your personal aging process…and provide security for yourself and your family. We’re just a phone call away.

What is a Patient Advocate?

Many caregivers of elderly parents feel lost in the maze of our healthcare system.

Trying to negotiate the maze of bureaucracy, medical/legal jargon, governmental agencies, expensive (and sometimes unnecessary!) procedures, and pressed-for-time doctors and nurses is enough to exhaust anyone.

Medicine has seen some positive changes in recent years, among them the technology, medications, and treatment options for various diseases. The doctor-patient relationship, however, has declined. And the main reason is the lack of time spent by the doctor with each patient.

In fact, it’s estimated that one-third of elderly patients don't even know what medications they’re taking…or why.

So what’s a caregiver to do? Well, you can educate yourself. You can go to support groups. You can accompany your loved one to the doctor. Or you can find a Patient Advocate.

“Patient Advocate” can apply to private professional patient advocates, or those who work for the hospital, insurance company, or non-profit organizations. Cost structures, as you might expect, can vary widely.

A private professional patient advocate is hired by the patient (or family) to represent the patient in the healthcare system. It could be a social worker, case manager, medical billing expert, nurse, physician, and even lay people with personal experiences as a caregiver. Costs are not covered by insurance, and can vary widely.

If you can afford it, though, it may be worthwhile. It can help emotionally to know that someone who understands the system is in your corner. It might, conceivably, improve the patient’s health outcome. And it might even save you money in the long run, by preventing unnecessary treatments or tests.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law. And we work every day with families who are emotionally drained by trying to navigate the Elder Care Maze. In fact, over the past 34 years, we’ve helped thousands of South Florida families navigate this maze. And we’ve helped them, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We can help you, too. We’re just a phone call away.

How to Say It to Seniors (Part III)

I tell my clients that disagreements will occur. After all, we’re dealing with emotional family issues here.

But we’re not talking about quicksand. You don’t have to sink inevitably deeper into the morass. And you and your parent{s} don’t have to end up saying things you’ll regret later.

If you’re stuck at a communications impasse, here are a few ways to navigate it…

SPEAK YOUR MIND – BUT DON’T BE OFFENSIVE: If conversations with your parents have become a dialogue of the deaf, tell them you're frustrated. Chances are they feel the same way. Voila - common ground!

LEARN TO LISTEN: It’s a necessary skill anywhere in life…but particularly with elderly parents. Don’t think up answers while they’re speaking – give them the respect of listening. Don’t try to counter their points; this isn’t high school debate. Listen not only to their words, but also to their underlying messages. And try for solutions that work for all of you.

LEARN TO BACK OFF: When you’re getting nowhere, sometimes it’s best to back off. Otherwise, you run the risk of alienating your parents. Keep things in perspective. Don’t make a big deal out of relatively little things.

AVOID RESENTMENT: One of the best ways to do this is to take care of yourself! If you're frequently stressed out and upset as a result of arguments with your parents, make sure you’re not neglecting your own needs. Make time for YOURSELF, and for your friends. If you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to help your parents.

Learning how to speak with your aging parents is a challenge. But we can help.

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law. Over the past 34 years, we’ve helped thousands of South Florida families resolve issues on the Elder Journey. And we’ve helped them achieve financial security, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We can help your family resolve Elder Journey issues. And we’re just a phone call away.

How to Say It to Seniors (Part II)

We’ve all heard the joke about the English and the Americans…two peoples separated by a common language.

Well, as I tell my clients, the same could be true of communication between seniors and their adult children. Our words may be the same. But the meanings, perceptions, and the ways in which our experiences have colored them may be very different.

The result? Just when we need to develop ways of communicating better, we often end up talking (or shouting) at each other, not with each other.

Here are some tips…

IT TAKES TIME: You can’t have an important conversation if you’re rushed for time. Boomers, however, are busy these days, always rushing, and often caught between the demands of their growing children and their elderly parents. But unless they take time to slow down, and be in the moment with their parents, it’s a waste of time. Lose the cell. And realize that you may need further conversations to resolve the issue.

LISTEN! Pay attention to what your parents are saying – and feeling! Try to see things from their perspective. Be genuinely open to different options. And you’ll be surprised at how much your parent will do the same thing.

RESPECT YOUR ELDERS: Speak respectfully. Don’t be dismissive of your parent’s opinions. If your parent becomes angry, it might be wise to put the conversation off for another time.

For many Boomers and their parents, trying to have a civil conversation is like walking through a minefield…you never know when something will blow up! But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law. For the past 34 years, we’ve been walking South Florida families through the minefield of Elder Law, answering questions like “How to Say It to a Senior.” And with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We can walk your family through the Elder Law minefield. And we’re just a phone call away.

How to Say It to Seniors (Part I)

If you’re a middle-aged child of aging parents, you may have concluded, by now, that there is no way to effectively communicate with your parents…particularly if their physical or mental health is starting to fail them.

We live, of course, in a culture that defies youth. Even middle-agers now worship at the altar of eternal youth. And, unconsciously, our aging parents may bother us. Let’s face it – our parents are proof that youth isn’t eternal. And that one day we’re going to be the aging parents.

When it comes to talking with each other, it almost seems like middle-agers are teenagers again, and their parents are back in middle-age. The language and perception divides seem basically un-bridgeable.

For most people, mid-life is a time of independence. You know who and what you are (hopefully!). You can probably handle most obstacles thrown in front of you, through a combination of wisdom and confidence.

Elderly parents, however, are in a totally different stage. They’re giving up responsibilities, and slowing down. As their physical health and their independence begin to decline, they try to hold onto the areas of life they can still control. And while you’re still looking ahead, they’re starting to look behind, to try and understand the significance of their own lives.

If you can somehow cross this communications bridge, though, the rewards can be great…for both children and parents.By understanding what your parents are going through, you’ll have a great chance to narrow – or even close – the communications gap! And we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law – and only Elder Law. Over the past 34 years, we’ve helped thousands of South Florida families bridge generational communications gaps. And we’ve helped them secure their futures, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid or the VA.

We help bring families together. We provide them with financial security. And we’re just a phone call away.

How to Survive in a Hospital

Hospitals are supposed to cure you. And, with an overwhelming majority of their patients, they do. Too many, however, come out of the hospital sicker than before - or in a box – because of circumstances that could have been avoided.

Here are some rules that might help…

* ASK QUESTIONS! Ask the doctors, ask the nurses, and ask anyone else caring for you. And if you can’t understand their answers…ask again!

* Educate yourself – before you’re there, and while you’re there. Most hospitals have brochures and pamphlets about your condition.

* You have the right to ask for a second opinion! It’s your life we’re talking about here. A good doctor will not take offense.

* If medicine is prescribed, ask about it. What it is. How it works. And – very important – possible side-effects. You can request a printout explaining these things in detail.

* Your nurses are not your servants. Treat them with respect, and you’ll get the same thing back. And recognize that they’re asking you to do things – for example, getting out of bed – for your own good.

* If you need help, ask for it. This is not the time to play hero.

* ASK STAFF TO WASH THEIR HANDS – THOROUGHLY! Before you let someone touch you, ask them to wash their hands. And make sure they’re wearing gloves. This is one of the best ways to avoid getting a nasty infection…or worse!

The thought of going into the hospital can be very scary…especially for a senior. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we’ve been answering questions about hospitals for the past 34 years. We’ve answered them for thousands of South Florida seniors and their families….and we’ve helped them navigate the Medical Maze. And we’ve prepared them for life after the hospital, too, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We can help you, too. And we’re just a phone call away.

It's National Healthcare Decisions Day... And You MUST Know About POLST!

According to the UCLA Health System Ethics Center, fewer than four of every 100 people over 85 who receive CPR ever return home - partially because EMT’s, in trying to save them, (using methods not intended for the frail elderly) often apply pressure that can break an older patient's ribs, or shock them with electric paddles, or insert tubes. In fact, many seniors who survive end up with serious neurological issues.

Health Care Powers of Attorneys, Do Not Resuscitate Orders and other advance directives do not seem to translate well from the legal world to the medical world. I explain to my clients that, even if they’ve written a living will, a hospital could still refuse to honor it. It’s a Venus and Mars thing; lawyers and hospitals speak two different languages.

That’s why I’m teaming up with Dr. Karen Kennedy, Medical Director of Hospice of Broward County, on a special – free - seminar on the not so distant future of healthcare decision-making for seniors.

The event takes place on Tuesday, April 16…National Healthcare Decisions Day. And anyone in the fields of Patient Advocacy, Geriatric Care Management, Nursing, Social Work, and related professions – as well as seniors and family caregivers - should attend.

The answer may be POLST – Physician Order of Life Sustaining Treatment. This requires doctors to have a thorough conversation with their patients about end-of-life care, and to prepare a POLST form with specific notes on the patient’s wishes. That way, both parties are on the same page.

While I’ll be speaking on POLST, Dr. Kennedy will discuss the very current topic of Pain Management and palliative care for all people who need this service

Please join us for hors d’oeuvres and vital information, free of charge, on April 16 at 4 p.m., at the Nova Southeastern Lifelong Learning Institute, 3424 S. University Drive, Davie. Please call (954) 861-2681 for more information.

Many of you know that The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates have been practicing Elder Law for 34 years. We’ve helped thousands of South Florida families with answers to their questions. And we’ve helped them, too, with financial security…comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

This seminar will provide you with valuable information. And we look forward to seeing you there!

The REAL Costs of Healthcare for Seniors

If you think you have some idea about the costs of senior healthcare…think again.

A new study has found that the real cost of senior care can be up to $493 a day. Nursing home costs can range from $5,400 to $12,000 a month. And the government pays for little or none of this.

If you only need in-home care, consider yourself lucky; it’s “only” $16-$26 per hour. Or, $150-$280 per day for live-in care.

Can you afford this?

Think Medicare will save you? Well, maybe…if you only need care for less than a hundred days. Medicaid may cover some of it – but you’ve got to go through stringent requirements, and a process that’ll put you through the ringer. And you could find yourself “spending down” your assets in the hopes of qualifying, only to be turned down – and broke!

Assisted-living can cost $2,000-$5,000 a month. And Continuing Care Retirement Communities require an average down payment of $250,000, and a $4,000 monthly rental fee.

I’ve been telling my clients for years that most of us fail to plan adequately for our long-term care needs as we age. I’ve been telling them, too, that if they can afford long-term care insurance – get it! Get it now, before the prices go up. Get a policy, if you can, that takes into account increasing prices as the years go by. Get a policy with a company that will be here in the future.

I know extra dollars are hard to come by these days, especially for Boomers and seniors. But it’s much better to pay a tolerable amount each month now than it is to drain your life savings (and your heirs’ inheritance) later on.

Long-term care insurance can be very confusing. But we can help.

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law – and only Elder Law. Over the past 34 years, we’ve walked thousands of South Florida families through the long-term care maze. And we’ve been helping them, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid or the VA.

Getting long-term care needn’t be a frightening process. We can walk you through it. And we’re just a phone call away.

Estate Planning For Women Is Different Than For Men

I always tell my married female clients that, unless they take an active part in the estate-planning process, they’re could find themselves in big trouble if they outlive their husbands.

We supposedly live in the age of gender equality. But some things still don’t add up equally. For example, women generally work fewer years outside the home. They earn only 74% of what men earn for similar jobs. And they generally live 5–7 years longer.

In most married couples, because the woman earns less, it’s she who often doesn’t contribute to pension plans, deferred savings plans, and retirement plans. And if she stops working to have a child or raise children, she has even less retirement savings – and less Social Security benefits.

Sadly, many women still rely on men to handle their estate planning. As a result, when a husband dies or there’s a divorce, the wife is usually in much worse shape than her husband would be in the same situation.

Women need to become more involved in planning for their futures! They need to discuss with their husbands how the death of either one would affect the other! They should understand their husbands’ retirement and financial plans. Are there life insurance policies? What about pensions? Does each one have long-term care insurance, to avoid depleting assets?

By preparing a will, health care proxy, and durable power of attorney, women have the power to make decisions for themselves…and to designate someone to make decisions if they no longer can. Otherwise, courts will decide how her assets are distributed upon her death, or who should handle her affairs if she can’t.

Sound complicated? We can walk you through it.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law. And, over the past 34 years, we’ve walked thousands of South Florida families through this process… with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid or the VA.

We can help you secure your financial future. And we’re just a phone call away. 

Too Old to Exercise? Who Are You Kidding?

George Burns lived to be 100...and never gave up the omnipresent stogie in his mouth.

"If I knew I was going to live this long," he used to say, "I would have taken better care of myself!" Needless to say, that line always drew a big laugh. Yet, there's a lot of truth in it. Because, if we do take care of ourselves, we can expect to live a longer - and healthier - life.

Some folks are blessed with good genes. They can smoke, drink , and eat to excess - without ever lifting a finger to exercise - and still live to 90 or 100. But, for most of us, if we want to stay healthier longer, we're going to have to lift a finger (or, even better, a weight!)!

When one of my clients tells me he's too old to start exercising, I tell him he needs a serious attitude-adjustment. Research proves it's never too late to start.

According to the American College of Sports Medicine, by the year 2030, there will be 70,000,000 Americans over the age of 65. And the fastest-growing segment of the population will be those over 85! But whenever you turn 65 - or 85 - exercise can help you live longer, and feel better.

Beginning in our thirties, we lose 3%-5% of muscle mass per decade, and, after the age of 50, we lose 1%-2% a year. But muscle mass is what keeps us strong, keeps us balanced, and burns up calories. So it pays to preserve it.

In at study in which seniors in a Boston nursing home lifted leg weights, walking speed increased 12%, and leg strength increased a whopping 113%! In another study, subjects who lifted weights three times a week for three months increased their walking endurance by 38%.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we have extensive materials on the benefits of exercise...and about the Elder Journey.

Over the past 34 years, we've helped thousands of South Florida families. And we can help you, too, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

If you've got questions, we've got answers. And we're just a phone call away.

In the meantime...get off that couch!

Want to Age-Proof Your Brain? Here's How - Part 2

Here are more ideas for how you can prevent Alzheimer's or dementia. And if you follow them, you can prevent Alzheimer's or dementia! 

The Spice of Life 

Good news for spice-a-holics! Spices are as good for your brain as they are for your taste buds. Herbs and spices such as black pepper, cinnamon, oregano, basil, parsley, ginger and vanilla are high in antioxidants, which may help build brainpower. And curcumin, the active ingredient in turmeric, may be the most powerful of all. Scientists believe it eliminates plaque in the brain. 

Find Your Purpose In Life 

Discovering your "mission" in life can help you stay sharp, according to a study of older adults. Over a seven-year period, participants with clear goals and passions were less likely to develop Alzheimer's. 

Get A Life! 

Having friends and social networks lowers the risk of dementia, by providing emotional and mental stimulation. In fact, subjects in a recent study scored higher on memory tests after just ten minutes of conversation with another person. 

Improve Your Health 

Chronic health conditions like diabetes, obesity, and hypertension will increase your chances of getting Alzheimer's. Diabetes, for example, roughly doubles the risk for Alzheimer's and dementia...but controlling your diabetes can delay the onset by several years. That means diet, exercise...and following doctor's orders! 

Are You Deficient In Certain Vitamins? 

Older adults don't always get all the nutrients they need from foods, because of declines in digestive acids or because their medications interfere with absorption. Vitamin deficit - particularly B12 - can also affect cognitive ability. In cognitive tests, seniors with B12 deficiencies had smaller brains and lower scores. Conclusion: If you can't get it from food, get it from a vitamin pill! 

If you've got questions about Alzheimer's or dementia, we have answers - because we have one of the largest Alzheimer's/Dementia Resource Centers in South Florida. 

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been helping South Florida families answer these questions for 34 years. And we've helped them, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid or the VA. 

We can help you, too. And we're just a phone call away.

You Can't Cure Terminal Illness!

As an experienced Elder Law attorney, it still breaks my heart each time a client believes that chemotherapy can actually cure his/her terminal cancer. And, sadly, it’s not uncommon; many patients with Stage 4 cancer undergo chemotherapy because they believe it might cure them.

That, to me, is an incredible indictment of our medical system, in which too few doctors ever have end-of-life discussions with terminal patients. And in which too few terminal patients ever realize they have choices.

In a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, about 75% of patients with terminal cancer actually believed that chemotherapy could cure them, rather than simply keep them alive a little longer. The study concluded that most terminal patients don’t understand that chemotherapy doesn’t buy a cure…it only buys a little more time.

When it can truly relive pain, chemotherapy is warranted. But if it’s merely to extend life, patients – and families - may be operating under an extreme misperception.

Aggressive chemotherapy merely to extend life can actually compromise the quality of remaining life. It may result in putting off discussions that should take place NOW. And it delays entrance to hospice, which offers patients the chance to die with dignity, without being hooked up to machines and without being in pain. (Several studies have shown that terminal patients actually live longer on hospice than in hospitals.)

Doctors should be asking patients how much they actually know about their cancer. How much they want to know. Who else they’d like included in the discussion. And what issues are really important to them.

In our society, doctors are trained to cure, not to question. But patients have a right to know. And to decide for themselves.

These are the hardest questions families will ever face. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we’ve been answering these questions for 34 years - and we’ve helped thousands of South Florida families. We’ve helped them prepare in advance, as well, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We can help. And we’re just a phone call away.

Should End-of-Life-Care Be Provided to Every American?

If Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel’s last name sounds familiar, it should; he’s the brother of Rahm Emanuel, former White House Chief of Staff and now Mayor of Chicago. He’s also a well-known oncologist, and chair of the Department of Bioethics at the National Institutes of Health.

Dr. Emanuel is a longtime proponent of end-of-life care. And he’s a forceful spokesperson on the need to change the way we look at – and treat – the process.

My clients know me as a strong believer in the right of terminal patients to have a say in how they’re going to die…whether they want extraordinary measures to extend their lives a bit, or whether they’d like to die naturally, using only pain medication.

Dr. Emanuel believes that all doctors should be formally trained in end-of-life care and discussions. Walking into a room with a patient to discuss a terminal diagnosis or prognosis can be overwhelming – even for experienced doctors. For doctors, there’s never been formal training in how to discuss terminal illness with patients and families, or how to discuss palliative options.

In Dr. Emanuel’s opinion – and mine – our doctors should know how to tell us, and what types of options to offer.

Dr. Emanuel says that more than 40% of American hospitals don’t offer access to palliative (pain-control) care. And he believes this should be a requirement.

He also disagrees with the current standard that a patient must have a life-expectancy of less than six months to be admitted to hospice. But pain has no time-line…and admittance to hospice should be based on need, not projected life.

Emanuel’s quick to add that he’s not talking about "death panels"…but simply the right of people to make their own choices.

It’s an issue that invariably leads to other issues…and a lot of questions. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we’ve been answering tough questions like these for 34 years…for thousands of South Florida families. And we’ve answered their questions, as well, on comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of Attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid or the VA.

We can answer your questions on the tough issues. And we’re just a phone call away.