My Loved One With Alzheimer's Isn't Sleeping At Night. What Can I Do?

Many people with Alzheimer's experience insomnia at some point...or at many points. Needless to say, if you're the caregiver, that makes a tough job -your job - that much tougher.

It's a serious issue. And if your loved one isn't getting enough sleep, the effects on his/her well-being (and our mood!) can be significant.

Here are a few tips...

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  Limit coffee and caffeine (soft drinks, too!) intake. And don't allow it at all in the evening.

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  Try to keep your loved one as active as possible during the day, so he'll be more tired at night.

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  Discourage naps during daytime hours.

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  Create a soothing atmosphere close to bedtime...soft music, candles, etc.

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  Schedule activities that are potentially upsetting to him during daytime hours.

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  Try to keep a consistent routine for bedtime...without being totally inflexible.

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  Ask your doctor about any medications that may be interfering with her sleep.

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  A light snack before bedtime (nothing sugary or heavy!) can have a calming effect. And if your loved one seems calmed by it, make it part of the nighttime routine.

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  Bathroom time is right before bedtime.

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  Your loved one is an adult - don't make bedtime unrealistically early.

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  Pick your battles, Part 1: If he falls asleep on the couch, let him stay there!

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  Pick your battles, Part 2: If she wants to go to sleep in her regular clothes, rather than sleeping clothes, let her.

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  Favorite blankets or pillows can have a calming effect.

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  Safety First! Put night-lights in the bedroom, bathroom, and hallways!

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  If sleeping remains a problem, you need to have a serious talk - probably in person - with the doctor.

If you're caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's or dementia, you know that sleep is just one of many potential problem areas. But we can help.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law. We've been helping South Florida families through the Elder Care Journey for 33 years. And we can help your family from beginning to end...with comprehensive estate plans, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset protection, and assistance with the VA or Medicaid.

We'll get you through. And we're just a phone call away.

How Can I Better Understand What My Loved One With Alzheimer's Is Going Through?

Of course, you'll never totally understand it, and you'll never totally be able to feel it...in large part because your loved one will never totally understand it, let alone be able to express her feelings about it.

There may be lonelier and sadder jobs in the world than being a caregiver to an Alzheimer's patient...but not many of them. And, unfortunately, the journey toward better understanding what they're going through, and what they're feeling, must be grounded in the realization that you'll never fully know.

The good thing about Alzheimer's, though - if thereis a good thing- is that resources are available to find out some of these answers. People are writing about it, people are talking about it, and people are studying it more than ever before.

You can learn a bit about what your loved one is feeling if you join a caregiver support group. (And you'll also benefit from the realization that there are many other people in the same predicament that you are...you're not alone!) Other good sources are your local Alzheimer's Association (alz.org), and your local Area Agency on Aging. One of the best sources of information is National Institute on Aging, an arm of The National Institutes of Health (alzheimers.org).

If we listed all the good websites with information on Alzheimer's, we'd need a book, not a blog.

And speaking of books, there are - literally - hundreds of good ones available. Ask your Alzheimer's Association for some good ones. Or just go on Amazon and explore titles about Alzheimer's. Believe me, there are enough to keep you busy for a long time!

And there's another good resource available, as well...a Board-Certified Elder Law attorney who can walk you through the Alzheimer's Journey.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we are Elder Law attorneys. And, over the past 33 years, we've waked thousands of South Florida families through the Alzheimer's Journey...with professionalism, with compassion, and, when necessary, with a soft shoulder. In addition, we can also help you with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset protection, and issues with Medicaid or the VA.

This is one journey you don't have to make alone. We're just a phone call away.

Should My Loved One Be Evaluated? And By Whom?

If you're starting to ask yourself this question, then the answer is simple: Yes.

When a loved one's forgetfulness or confusion becomes obvious, it's time for a complete examination by a physician. This is the best way to determine whether the symptoms are temporary - perhaps caused by depression, poor nutrition, drug intoxication or interaction, alcohol, or organ dysfunction - or if they're permanent, and caused by dementia or Alzheimer's.

We're talking about a complete work-up here - physical exam, medical history, neurological testing, lab tests, brain imaging, and function tests.

If your loved one has never been evaluated, it's best to see a neurologist or geriatrician. If, on the other hand, he's already been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, you should see a geriatric psychiatrist, who can look for signs of depression, agitation, or behavioral issues.

If you don't know where to look for a doctor, check a physicians' referral service. And if you participate in caregiver support meetings, ask the other participants.

A word of warning - Don't Settle! If you're not comfortable with a physician...find a new one! You'll be working closely with this person the rest of your loved one's life. And you need someone you trust...someone with whom you feel comfortable!

Once you have a diagnosis, make sure the primary physician is kept in the loop; after all, she's still the one you'll be seeing for general check-ups and regular health issues.

The best doctors in this field are the ones who realize that Alzheimer's is a family illness...and that the caregiver must be carefully monitored, as well, for signs of stress or depression.

This is a very stressful time for the entire family. And, for many families, a very confusing time. But you don't have to go through this process alone. Help is available.

At the Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we're Elder Law attorneys. And, over the past 33 years, we've walked thousands of South Florida families through the Elder Care Maze, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, asset-protection planning, long-term care planning, issues with Medicaid or the VA, and, of course, Alzheimer's/dementia questions. And we've done it with professionalism, compassion, and, when needed, a soft shoulder.

You don't have to make this journey alone. We're just a phone call away.

Re-Defining Aging: Guess Who Just Turned 72?

On May 24, an American icon turned 72. Can you guess who it is?

Let's drop some hints...

*Some say he's looked 72 since he was 22.

* He has a voice that, depending on your taste, is either glorious or grating.

* His temperament is best described as grumpy on a good day, and a train-wreck

on a bad one.

* He's had more personal iterations than Houdini...from Electric to Folkie to Born Again

to Gypsy to Hobo Minstrel to Pop to Country Gent to, for a mercifully-brief moment,

Rapper.

* You often need an English translator to understand what the heck he's singing.

* He had weaknesses for drugs and women.

* He could have probably benefitted from the services of a good sinus/adenoid surgeon.

Got it, yet? OK, a few more hints...

* He was born and raised in Minnesota.

* To those who believed - and there were many - he was the voice of his generation.

OK...it's Bob Dylan! He turned 72 on May 24. So, how's Bob relaxing in his dotage?

By touring America, that's how! In fact, from June 26, where he starts his tour in West Palm Beach, until August 4, when he finishes it in California, he's got 26 performances lined up! In 39 days!

Bob Dylan, like many Boomers, is re-defining "aging." After some 55 years on the road, he's got a schedule that would exhaust a 22-year-old. He's an example of how Boomers see "aging" differently than their parents, who most likely dreamed about good books and empty golf courses. And he's a perfect example, too, that getting "older" doesn't mean getting "old!"

Bob Dylan is probably secure as far as his estate planning. But many Boomers aren't. And that's where we come in...because we secure futures for Boomers who aren't superstars.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Law. For the past 34 years, we've worked with thousands of South Florida families to secure their futures, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We can secure your family's future, too. And we're just a phone call away.

Estate Planning For Non-Traditional Families - Part 3

If you're in a non-traditional family, you know that estate planning is, as Winston Churchill once said about Russia, "A riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma." But here's some advice that'll help.

DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP/LIFE PARTNERSHIP AGREEMENT

This can be a helpful tool, because it can specify the boundaries and responsibilities of the arrangement. And it can be helpful even if the relationship is non-romantic.

A Life Partnership Agreement can establish how property is owned and titled. It can establish whether income, gifts, or inheritances belong to one partner, or both. It can establish who does what around the house, and who pays for what. And it specifies how finances and ownership will be determined if the relationship ends.

Additionally, this agreement can provide legal evidence of the relationship if it's ever needed.

WHAT ABOUT KIDS?

If there are kids involved, a Parenting Agreement might be beneficial...especially if you ever have to prove in court that you and your partner have agreed to care jointly for the children. One caveat: In most states, courts are not bound by Parenting Agreements; they simply have to provide for the best interest of the child. But if a surviving partner can show a Parenting Agreement in which both partners have provided for the best interest of the child, your chances are better. Also, like a Life Partnership Agreement, a Parenting Agreement can delineate specific responsibilities when it comes to caring for the child(ren), and who pays for what.

The laws are very confusing, and always changing. And they vary from state to state.

Estate planning for non-traditional families can be a complex and tiring legal journey. But we can get you through it.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been walking South Florida families - both non-traditional and traditional - through the Elder Law Journey for 34 years. And we've helped thousands of them establish estate plans appropriate for them - with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We'll get you through the Elder Law Journey. And we're just a phone call away.

Estate Planning For Non-Traditional Families - Part 2

Some of the most important estate planning areas for a non-traditional family are living wills, health care directives, and powers of attorney.

If two people aren't legally married, or related by blood, they may as well be strangers. The Florida case of Langbehn v. Jackson Memorial Hospital was a perfect example. One of the partners in a non-traditional family from Washington state died from an illness during a vacation here. As if that wasn't tragic enough, the family wasn't allowed to visit the dying partner - or even receive updates - until a blood relative arrived.

In this situation, many states consider blood relatives as the only legal family...and the consequences can be devastating. Relatives who are estranged from the sick person may be allowed to make health care decisions, and may be given control of children, the home, and the property. And the partner will have little - or no - legal recourse. In some states, the partner doesn't even have the right to live in the family home while legal proceedings are taking place.

Non-traditional families should also have health care proxies and HIPAA authorizations - even if their state recognizes their union.

Demographic trends in recent years have resulted in dramatic changes in what constitutes a "family" in this country. And I've had a number of non-traditional families or partners come to me heartbroken...because they didn't take the time to get the necessary protection.

The laws are horribly confusing. And, of course, they vary from state to state.

Estate planning for non-traditional families is a minefield, fraught with traps. But we can get you through it.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been walking South Florida families - both non-traditional and traditional - through the Elder Law minefield for 34 years. And we've helped thousands of them establish estate plans appropriate for them - with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We'll get you through the Elder Law minefield. And we're just a phone call away.

Estate Planning For Non-Traditional Families - Part 1

I'm being contacted by an increasing number of non-traditional families these days...with good reason.

Non-traditional families are becoming the one of the biggest demographics in America. Whether gay or lesbian (legally married or not), divorced with children, "significant others" living together, etc., all of us know people in this arrangement. Considered abnormal just a few years ago, this is rapidly becoming the most "normal" type of family in America.

This is especially significant when people are planning their estates...because, until recently, this was uncharted territory. Elder Law attorneys now have new tools in their toolboxes for these families. But if you don't plan accordingly...you're running a huge risk.

TAXES

One of the biggest differences in tax-planning is that non-traditional families have no marital deductions. Married couples, on the other hand, can give money to each other, combine their assets, name each other as beneficiaries, and hold prop­erty and bank accounts jointly.
In a non-traditional family, if one partner contributes more to the household, and an effective plan is not in place, the partner who earns more could actually be taxed if the larger contribution is considered a gift by the IRS!

PROPERTY

Most non-traditional partners believe that joint tenancy, with right of survivorship, is the obvious choice. But that's not always the case!

In addition, title to the property can also affect taxes on the property. In Florida, the transfer of property between unmarried partners can result in reassessment of property taxes. ..even if it was held in joint tenancy!

Confusing? You ain't heard nothin', yet!

Estate planning for non-traditional families is a minefield, fraught with traps. But we can get you through it.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we've been walking South Florida families - both non-traditional and traditional - through the Elder Law minefield for 34 years. And we've helped thousands of them establish estate plans appropriate for them - with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

We'll get you through the Elder Law minefield. And we're just a phone call away.