How Do I Find - And Hire - An In-Home Caregiver?

There won't be many occasions in your life when you're faced with a more difficult decision. But help is available.

If you're looking for non-medical assistance, your Area Agency on Aging; Department on Aging, Social and Rehabilitation Services; or Alzheimer's Association can be excellent resources. These agencies can provide you with non-medical personnel such as sitters, homemakers, or aides.

Skilled care, however, is a different ballgame. Your loved one's doctor should be involved in setting up these services, particularly if physical or occupational therapy or nursing is required.

Or, you can play it down the middle. Certified Nurse Aides can assist with dressing, bathing, meals, and medications, and many have worked with Alzheimer's patients. Make sure they're certified in CPR... and ask to see the certification.

You can also hire an individual on your own. Your Alzheimer's Association keeps a list of independent caregivers. They won't recommend specific people. But they can, however, provide you with feedback they've received.

You may also be able to get recommendations on individuals or agencies from local support groups.

If you're the "hiring manager," act like one. Use application forms (which can be purchased at any office supply store). Verify ID's. Do background checks. Get resumes. Get references. Make sure you keep copies of the documents of anyone you hire. And treat the relationship like an employer-employee relationship - because that's exactly what it is!

Interview a number of applicants... and be sure to include your loved one in the process. You should be able to tell if she's feeling uncomfortable, or if the interaction is not really clicking.

In some states, hiring an in-home caregiver can disqualify you from Medicaid. So, if you're not sure about what you're doing, consult an Elder Law attorney.

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we're Elder Law attorneys. And, every day, we work with families looking for quality care for their loved ones.

Over the past 33 years, we've walked thousands of South Florida families through the Elder Law Journey, with comprehensive estate planning, wills, trusts, powers of attorney, long-term care planning, asset-protection plans, and assistance with Medicaid and the VA.

You have questions. We have answers. And we're just a phone call away.

The Caregiver's Guilt Syndrome

Guilt is a thief that comes in the night and steals. Steals our personality. Steals our self-respect. And steals our sense of well-being.

If we're caring for an aging loved one, guilt can, if we let it, steal something even more important. It can steal our lives! It can suck up every last ounce of the person we are...until we hardly recognize ourselves anymore.

Often, though, we're the ones setting ourselves up for guilt. And, by so doing, we do ourselves - as well as the senior for whom we're caring - a great disservice.

The dictionary describes guilt as "being responsible for the commission of an offense; remorseful awareness of having done something wrong; or self-reproach for supposed inadequacy or wrongdoing." Obviously the first two definitions don't pertain to caregivers. But the third definition...that's where many of us run into trouble.

The curse of caring for an aging loved one is that we can't be everywhere and do everything for them. And, too often, we end up blaming ourselves for this. Many of us devote years to caring for a loved one, making great sacrifices in our personal and professional lives. Yet, we often blame ourselves for not doing more. Think about it. How often have we heard a friend or family-member lament that they wished they had been able to do more?

Most caregivers, however, are doing the very best they can...and, in the process, often neglecting to take care of themselves.


Sometimes, it's hard to keep negative thoughts from intruding. But you can control your reaction to them. By acknowledging the difficulty of what you're doing. And by giving yourself credit for doing it!

You're doing the best you can. And you don't deserve the guilt!

At The Law Offices of Alice Reiter Feld & Associates, we practice Elder Care Law. And we've been helping South Florida caregivers deal with guilt for 33 years. We have the expertise to help you deal with these feelings...and to help you take care of yourself, as well as your loved one.

Try turning the word "guilt" into something positive. Give Undeserved Illusions Little Thought!

It's certainly a difficult tightrope to walk. But we'll be holding the net underneath you...every step of the way!